Monday, December 28, 2009

Don't get me wrong, i love my grandma

If there is one thing that my grandma loves, its having company and making sure that they are well fed.

Back in high school i would spend many nights at my grandma's small apartment in La Crosse. I liked staying with my grandma because she lived in town and it was easier for me to hang out with my friends who lived in town, rather than making the trek from the 10 miles out of town orchard. And her 15 channels of unlimited t.v. was absolutely glorious compared to the absence of television at home. Don't get me wrong, I liked staying at my grandma's for more wholesome reasons, too, like making her happy and visiting with her.

Well, college happened and I don't get many chances to see my grandma much at all anymore. So when the holidays rolled around this year, I thought it would be a great idea to take advantage of the situation and stay at her place while I was in my hometown.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

The night started out pretty normal. We chatted, played some cards, pet the cat, and ate some dinner together while watching Two and a Half Men--"one of the only good shows on these days, I swear." But, just like any other elderly person, my grandma got tired pretty early. Around 7 p.m. to be exact. This is where the night slowly went downhill.

I figured that staying at my grandma's and not going out would give me a good chance to catch up on sleep. Anyways, my grandma insisted on folding out the couch into its bed form. "You were the last one to sleep on these sheets, so they should be fine, right?" WRONG GRANDMA! Of course, being old, her eyes are getting bad, and she didn't notice the little pellets of mouse poo sprinkled across the whole bed. With a forced smile, I responded with a "sure, grandma," and spread the blanket on top of the bed. We said our goodnights and as soon as she was out of the room, I whipped off those sheets as fast as I could. To my horror, there was mouse poo on every single layer of that bed. I put the blanket back on the bed, got on the bed, and then covered myself up with half of the blanket like some awkward looking taco.

I stayed up for a couple of hours watching bad t.v. and avoiding mouse poo and I eventually fell asleep. Too bad that got interrupted. At 3 in the morning i was startled awake by a knock at the door. Furious that i was woken up and thinking that the knocker was some crazy old lady, i stumbled to the door bringing the blanket and all. I opened the door, squinted out, and saw, not an old woman, but a firefighter clad in full fire fighting attire. I think he was a little startled to see such a young woman wearing a harry potter shirt answering the door.
"have you been cooking any food lately, ma'am?" he said with a strange look on his face, like he knew what was coming next.
"WHY would I be cooking at 3 in the morning?"
"Someone must have burned some food or something."
"Well, I was sleeping. I wasn't cooking."
I didn't even wait for a response and i shut the door and crawled back to my uncomfortable pull out bed, carefully making sure that i didn't touch the feces.

I think now is a good time to scroll back to the top of this page and read the sentence that i started this story with. This doesn't only work for company, but also for her cat. Maybe more so for her cat. Before we gave Tabasco the cat to my grandma, she was just a svelte, sleek looking thing. We'll just say that she is far from that now. Anyways, the cat came out to where i was sleeping and decided that we needed some quality time together. Her idea of quality time was sleeping, almost literally on my face for the rest of the night. Hello jabba-the-cat.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I don't know if i am exhausted or if I am fine. Lately, my days are spent in a fog, observing and not wanting to force my mouth open to speak. I don't want to talk or be around people. Is it because I'm so tired? I can't tell if i am sleeping or awake anymore when I lay in my bed at night. The hours go by fast, but the days go slow. I'm in a weird state of mind. I don't feel like I'm here.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

romanticism vs. practicality: fight of the century

Its funny to watch peoples interactions. You can tell who is comfortable and who is not. Today is one of those self-induced, lack of interaction day. Can't i just go home and paint for the rest of the night? Why am i such a romantic and hope my life is nothing but painting, picture-taking, and happiness? It is such a romantic ideal that is hard to hold onto in society. Where do romanticism and practicality meet?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

imagine, me and you.

sorry guys, its a bad picture with what appears to be a nude toddler running into the picture. This is the underpainting, so you get the idea. I guess i am kind of exploring this whole idea of personal problems that many people are faced with. Almost "fad" problems that are GRIPPING the nation. First, of course, was the overconsumption/being fat/ no control idea. Now this one is the whole identity issue. Putting on different faces for different people which, in turn, causes a loss of identity. But also, it speaks about the uncertainty of your own identity and other peoples. or something. haha.

we'll see where this goes...

Monday, October 19, 2009

leaf house

this perfectly describes my mood.

Today is just one of those days. Not one of those helpless days, but one of those days where I just wish i could be doing something better. i have things going on all the time and I just wish i had more time to just create. Paint, or take more pictures, or make clothes. Do something more productive.

I think i'm just struggling with ideation. ugh.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

your face is like the sun sinking into the ocean
your face is like watching flowers growing in fast motion
all your kisses i swallowed
brightened mornings and hollows
my vines and tree knots will come unwound
baby you are my sunshine
my sunshine
please don’t take my sunshine away

the grounded fireflies are little stars that are dying
returning to the earth i can hear them crying
like christmas bulbs that i swallowed
slept in a tree that’s gone hollow
and never a brittle wintertime
baby you are my sunshine
my sunshine
please don’t take my sunshine away

my sunshine
please don’t take my sunshine away

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

first encounter of the same kind

I was an outsider of this group. I was from a different school. A smaller school. All of these girls had their jokes and their comfort. I had a bag of chips and a frog shirt. I thought to myself, "sooner or later someone is going to get hungry and eat some chips." Well, it happened, followed by the incredible consumption of sugary substances that only girls of age 12 could manage. It was this hyperactivity that threw me head first into this crazy, horrible world of girldom.

It was a day of celebration. It was a collection of the dweebiest 5th graders in all of the world. There I was, in a roomful of peers. It seemed as if one horrendous, style-deficient girl topped the next. And then i saw it.

There it was, glistening in the fluorescent lighting of a dimly lit basement. The most appalling sight in all of my then 12 years and maybe all of my life. Little did i know, this hairstyle would haunt me for years, almost a decade, before i had the guts to go manually change it myself. But that is beside the point. I guess the whole point is that this horribly slicked bun (which i considered the pinnacle of terribly styled adolescents) was equally matched to my bright yellow shirt displaying a comically large frog.

This hair has not been slicked back in years, and I don't even own anything with any sort of animal printed on it, let alone a frog. In the 10 years of this friendship of epic proportions, we have indeed sported styles of questionable taste, but nothing ever will compare to the day we realized our matching oddities of the slicked bun and from shirt.

Friday, May 29, 2009

so i made a list

Here it is. The things i have been putting off since college started. I'm moving into an empty, 4 bedroom apartment in less than 3 days, and I had promised myself that I was officially going to change my habits THAT DAY. You, my friends, need to help me stick to it. Yes, I also realize that I am probably only speaking to Alyssa, Maddie, and the occasional Madelyn.

ok, so here it goes...
1. start biking everywhere, and a LOT. 
2. eat HEALTHY and lessssss. I think this one will be easy because of all the cooking i want to do.
3. find another job to keep during the school year.
5. Learn how to keep things tidy on my own terms.
6. Take one MILLLLION pictures.
7. swim in some sort of body of water at least once a week.
8. loose 30 pounds.
9. get my style back (ha).
10. Keep it real. Keep it fun. Keep it real fun. 

Hahahah, so the last one is worded so sillily. (i like the spelling of that word. im going to use it more often. Get ready)